Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving ♡

 

My first ever friendsgiving at Andrews (as always lol). It was accidentally a last minute thing LOL. Melissa is a true friend, she walked from a bus stop to christina’s house and I was on the phone with her to keep her company. Friendship goals. Well christina, melissa and I were running late and surprisingly my dad was really calm and chill that I was leaving my house around 6 bc last time when I went out for pumpkin carving, my dad was getting all mad bc I was leaving at 7 and it was “night” already. Anyways, we made a safeway run, mcdonalds run and bigfoot run (I got a creamsicle. It was aight). There were so much food, mostly potatoes and carbs.

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YUM YUM YUMMMM

I’m kinda too lazy to write LOL.

Christina and I did the mannequin challenge with the older ppl

This poor unicorn

We basically chilled, talked and waited for Andrews sister + friends to leave which was almost at 11 pm. After they left, we spent an hour and a half talking about relationships, breakups and other stuff LOL. Talking about my ex gave me goosebumps. Having to relive moments that are vivid and clear just feels so surreal bc I remember every moment that has happened.. and its something I wish I would forget already.

As always, I’m thankful to have them in my life. To finally know who my friends are. Last year, when I lost someone important to me I didn’t know who my friends were, I didn’t have a best friend anymore, I didn’t really have anyone to talk to besides melissa lol, I felt completely lost and isolated from everyone. But to have ppl actually care about you and/or how you feel is a good feeling to know. I’ve never had ppl in my life show me they care about me nor have I had a group of friends. I hope my friendships with them don’t fade away.

I’ve been coming home at 1 am and I’m so glad my parents don’t say anything anymore.

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November 24

I was really hesitant to go to my fam thanksgiving for reasons. I took my own car so I can leave early and I ended up staying for two hours. Prior to leaving my house, I was in an annoyed mood bc my dad didn’t want to take two cars but I know that him and the adults are gonna talk about drama for 2 hours and I don’t wanna stay that long for some childish shit.

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img_6914I popped open the champagne bottle for the first time lol. Everyone started coming in and we finally ate. I barely ate, I wasn’t really in the mood to eat. Being around ppl who are suppose to care about you and make you feel important is something I don’t feel when I’m around fam. I’m always with the adults or my mom and aunt bc I get negative vibes when I’m around my cousins. I don’t really want to say much but I don’t feel welcomed or important to my so called fam. Lmao and I honestly don’t care if one of them reads this, I can and I will say whatever I wanna say. lmaoooo bye.

Andrew kept me company for a bit, but I didn’t wanna kill his fam time so i let him be. I feel like I bother ppl too much with my problems. Anyways, I left at 7. I kinda felt bad bc I didn’t tell my aunt and uncle I was leaving, I just left without saying anything.

On my way home, I started crying. “It sucks you can’t enjoy something like family parties”. Yup, I thought about that and it kinda hit me. Having someone understand how you feel makes me emotional (I’m an emotional person in general actually). But it’s true, I honestly don’t enjoy parties anymore, ever since last year. It even made me sad to know that my sister doesn’t even wanna come home bc of the same reason. My sister was suppose to come home this week.. but nope. I won’t be seeing her till next year. Knowing that I won’t be able to enjoy holidays with fam is life changing.. Christmas and New Years were my fav holidays to spent with them only bc we played games and win money.. But now I can’t even sit in a room with all of them for 30 min straight and not feel wanted..

Well, I hope everyone had a good thanksgiving.

♡KJAA

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